Recently turned 22 and expecting this year to be the most crazy year of my life, just like the last 22 others. I have a nameless insomniac fish and not enough memory cells.I find ''vulve'' to be the funniest French word and I can't grow an avocado tree for shit.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
Your quote for the day:
America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.
Laurence J. Peter
My honey is part of a ping-pong team here in Lyon (for school purposes) and Friday night, because the "Beaujolais nouveau" had arrived in town, the commitee was throwing a special wine-tasting session at the local gymnasium. For free. It all started at 8 p.m. and by 10p.m. I had drank 9 glasses of wine. Here in France they don't have public toilets where you can sit and do your thing. No. You have to stand up, place your feet on two small plateforms and aim the hole below. So later in the night (it must of been around midnight) I really had to go pee but was to drunk to piss standing up while trying not to fall off the plateforms, so I decided to go outside, and take some fresh air at the same time. I saw a door down the hall that led directly outside so I opened it, hid in a corner and did what I had to do. I went back for the door, and, of course, it was one of those doors that you can open from the inside, but it is locked from the outside. No problem, I'll go around the building and go in from the front door. As I turn around, I realize I am surrounded by fences everywhere. No problem, I'm drunk, I can take any challenge right now!!! I started climbing the nearest fence, and as I was about to jump over it, the bottom of my pants got stuck, everything went blank and when I opened my eyes, I was lying face down on the ground. I got up, saw that on my left knee I had a big hole in my jeans and that I was bleeding bad, I couldn't feel my right hand and I had bleeding scratches inside my two hands. Shit. My boyfriend is still inside and I have to go in. After 15 minutes of trying to figure out where that stupid froot door was, I finally found my way in, trying to be as invisible as I could be to everyone I passed by. The first thing my boyfriend said to me when he saw me was "What the hell?!?! You tell me you have to go pee, you come back 30 minutes later and you look like you just got hit by a car??? Are you o.k.??" "Yeah, can we grab a glass of wine and go home right now please?" The next morning (yesterday) I woke up with my sheets covered with blood everywhere, I couldn't walk on my left leg and I can't use my right hand. Today were going to eat at my honey's parents and I'm gonna be so embarressed when they're gonna ask me what happenned to me, I gotta find a back-up story. posted by Cyril et Marie 10:46 am
Thursday, November 20, 2003
This morning as I was laying in my bed, flashbacks from a discussion with my psychiatrist appeared in my head. I had a bit of a weird vision of men back then.
HER-So tell me, do you recall any memories about men when you were young?
ME-Hum... No. Actually yes. When I was 5 or 6 years old, my dad had a friend who used to come and visit once in a while and he really smelled weird. At that time I had never seen a penis before but I figured that he propably smelled like a penis.
HER-Did he ever touch you?
ME-Oh no. I just thought he smelled funny.
HER-O.k. now let’s talk about some of your first experiences. Do you remember your first real kiss?
ME-Sure do! I was 8 years old, at that time I used to live in Thunder Bay, Ontario and one day, my neighbour (who I barely knew) came over to my house and asked me if we could play together. I said yes and we went under a huge pine tree to talk about pretty much anything. Finally, we ended up frenchkissing passionately while rolling around in the grass.
HER-And did you have feelings for that little boy?
ME-It wasn’t a little boy.
HER-It was a man?
ME-No it was a girl.
Silence. She scribbled something on a piece of paper. Silence again.
As I was writing away my winter blues yesterday, my honey asked me why, even though I’m French, I always write what’s on my mind in English. Hum. Well first of all, I find the French language to be much too subtle in a kinda explicit way. It’s also too dramatic for me. I find that on the other side, the English language is more blunt. Also, everything is easier to be said in English, even if it’s bad news. There’s a way of using some kind of dark sarcastic humour in English that can make a dying man laugh. So I leave the French language for the real poets. I just need to bitch and make peace on Earth. posted by Cyril et Marie 4:36 pm
HYGIENE
Whatever the size of the house or flat, the bathroom and the toilet are usually two distinct rooms. This is a matter of hygiene for the French and also of convenience (it avoids frantic knocking on the door while someone is singing under the shower) In older houses or apartments, you may find an object that has always fascinated foreigners, le bidet. This pear-shaped, low wash-basin was used for washing intimate body parts in the days when a full wash was not considered a daily requirement. In the 19th century and at the beginning of this century, le bidet contributed to the development of personal hygiene. Today, showers have become commonplace, and le bidet is no longer part of the bathroom. I just find it ideal for keeping cans of beer cool during parties! posted by Cyril et Marie 12:45 pm
Tuesday, November 18, 2003
After almost 4 months of living in France, I've decided to pin point the differences that I've noticed so far. So every once in a while, I'll keep you updated on those "little" details. For starters, here's something I've read in a travel book for newbies in Lyon, France's second biggest city:
"A few rules about driving. The French are high-pressure drivers, always accelerating and braking suddenly. Keep your eyes ont the road! It is well-know that once inside the metallic shell of their car, people lose all sense of courtesy. Don't get upset if drivers are gesticulating, yelling, hooting or grimacing at you. Keep your calm. Remember, there is no point in living in France unless you have a sense of humour!"
Why didn't anybody tell me that BEFORE I got here?!? posted by Cyril et Marie 5:59 pm
Monday, November 10, 2003
The book I am reading right now is "Voyage au bout de la nuit" from the French author Céline. And here's a passage I really like:
"Dupré donne d'autre part, dans sa terminologie si imagée et dont il avait l'apanage, le nom de "diarrhée cogitive de libération" à cette crise qui s'accompagne chez le sujet d'une sensation d'euphorie très active, d'une reprise très marquée de l'activité de relations, reprise, entre autres, très notable du sommeil, qu'on voit se prolonger soudain pendant des journées entières, enfin autre stade: suractivité très marquée des fonctions génitales, à tel point qu'il n'est pas rare d'observer chez les mêmes malades auparavant frigides, de véritables "fringales érotiques". D'où cette formule : "Le patient n'entre pas dans la guérison, il s'y rue!" posted by Cyril et Marie 10:45 am
Friday, November 07, 2003
Here's a pretty nice pick-up line I found on butterflybrat's blog (http://butterfliesandbrats.blogspot.com/)
"Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?"
Ha!
I’ve decided to hop on back into the blog zone, I don’t know for how long but surely long enough to finish this entry. I realized that my description was pretty much expired but it’s interesting to look back at it and analyze it
“Recently turned 22 and expecting this year to be the most crazy year of my life, just like the last 22 others. I have a nameless insomniac fish and not enough memory cells.I find ''vulve'' to be the funniest French word and I can't grow an avocado tree for shit.” Well first of all, I am now 23, and I must say it is true, I DID have pretty much the craziest year of my life. I spent new year’s eve in Time Squares, New York city, met my honey in Québec, Canada, got married within the next 8 months, and am now living in France in a house with a huge backyard and lots of pear trees. As for my insomniac fish, well, it ain’t insomniac no more cause when I moved to France, I gave it to my best buddy Dan who fed it with pretty much anything (Damn it Dan I TOLD you he was a vegetarian!) and it wasn’t long before he died of to much gas. My memory cells, still not enough BUT I did gather a few extra ones since I’ve stopped being such a pot head. Vulve hahahahaha!!! And yes, I DID finally grow not one, but 3 beautiful avocado trees, they live at my mom’s place now and I can’t wait ‘til they pop out a few avocados. So there, that’s my review for the last 12 months. Not bad for a girl who still sleeps with a Teddy bear! posted by Cyril et Marie 6:21 pm
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
Good news, my honey's parents have now accepted the fact that we really love each other and sent us a lovely e-mail to let us know that they will be thinking of us tomorow even though we are really far away. Thank you God. I can now get married with a free mind. And I promise I will buy them a really nice gift when I'll meet them for the first time. posted by Cyril et Marie 5:14 pm
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
Man this sucks. My baby just received an e-mail from his mother. You see when he told his parents we were getting married, his mom freaked out and his dad refused to speak to him. They haven't spoken since, and today, she wrote him really heartless shit about how she loves him a lot, cares about his happiness and that she knows that all of this (meaning the wedding) isn't part of his true happiness. It's one thing to disagree with your child's decision but it's another thing to say mean things to him. So now my sweetheart is feeling really down and I totally understand because even though his parents are being really cruel to him, he loves them a lot and wishes that they would understand our feelings for each other and be happy for him/us. And I'm sitting here, helpless, while he's replying a long (REALLY long) e-mail to his mom and I feel like there's nothing I can do to make things better because it's between him and his parents. I can't call them and explain everything or go for supper with them, and that really saddens me. All I can do is try and cheer him up but I know deep down inside that none of my positive sayings will do him good, only the reassurance of a mother or a father can make a child feel better in that kind of situation. posted by Cyril et Marie 8:38 pm
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
So this is it. I'm getting married next May 28th. 2 days ago, my boyfriend, Dan (we needed a witness) and I went to the city hall for our "wedding interview". Once we got there we noticed there are 2 categories of people in that place; hot chicks with classy outfits waiting to go in the courtroom (professionally speaking), and, at the opposite, freaks, weirdos and wackos waiting to go to court too (criminally speaking). Anyways they called up my name and we went into the office of a nice lady who asked us only a few questions to my boy and I, and afterwards she asked Dan if it was true, and he answered yes (he had in his hands a pamphlet about "what are the consequences after commiting a crime" that he had picked up while waiting in the hall, and I was praying that the lady didn't notice it), we signed here and there and that was pretty much it. It seemed a bit too fast and easy for me but I guess thats just our generation after all. And now I have to figure out what to wear for the big day. I'm so excited!!!! posted by Cyril et Marie 8:47 pm
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Your quote of the day:
Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
I've got some really big news. Actually a bit too big for me. Deep breath, here it goes; 1, 2 3: I'm getting married. That's right, me. My mom just left my place and I told her about it and I think she won't be sleeping for a while. She's all excited!!! Oh and Mimi, I know you're reading this so go make yourself some popcorn and sit down while taking deep breaths for a few hours.
You see my boy comes from France and the laws are pretty stupid there and I'm moving with him next September either in Lyon (France) or Pointe-à-Pitre (Guadeloupe), it all depends on which University will give him a positive answer. And after speaking with a dozen of different people, the solution they gave me in order for me to work and live there was to get married. BUT I really do love my baby, it's just... weird. So we're not gonna do a big wedding in a church and all, just at the city hall.Yap, so Marie is soon gonna become a "Madame". I gotta go eat some pickles and cheap "pâté" to wash it all down. posted by Cyril et Marie 11:03 pm
FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! I just read on weirdspaghetti's site (http://weirdspaghetti.blog-city.com/) that Paul Van Dyke (whom btw I say a couple of times in Vancouver, kicks ass!!) cancelled his set last April 20th because of the SARS. I've got a pair of tickets for the Ben Harper and Jack Johson concert on June 30th in Toronto and if it gets cancelled, man will I ever be mad!!! My boyfriend is trying to make me change my mind and not go to that concert because of the SARS. My answer to that? "Honey there are 23 people who died of the SARS so far in Toronto. There are way more people who die in car accidents every day and you've never asked me not to drive because of that!!" posted by Cyril et Marie 12:30 am
Last night was my boyfriend's last day at the University and last day at school equals PAR-TY!!!! It all started at 5pm and by midnight, my boy was puking on a chair while his friend was trying to stick his hand in my shirt (asshole!!), one of my girlfriends (which I thought was a lesbian) was making out with a guy she totally hated, and a girl who has a crush on my boy was trying to be friendly to me so I took advantage of the situation and kept on asking her to bring me popcorn. When my sweetheart woke up this morning, first think he asked me was if I felt like eating a steak. Weirdo. I love him so much. posted by Cyril et Marie 12:17 am
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
FINALLY!!!! I've got this one friend who I am very close to but every year, when his birthday is around the corner I never know what to get him. It's like I know him so well, that I can't find the perfect gift for him. Plus he is a lot like me. Weird, unpredictable and disgusted by reality shows. BUT last night, as I was trying to kill some time on the net, I've found IT. I'm gonna give him a mango tree. (I'd give him an avocado tree but it would only be good in about 5 years). See below
If you want to join Coldplay and help the environment then why not plant a tree in the Coldplay forest? The forest is in Bangalore, India and is planted with Mango trees which as well as soaking up CO2 also provides a food source and income stream for the local Indian farmers, so you really will be making a valuable contribution. We'll send you a customised Coldplay certificate and a map of the site to thank you for your contribution.
Now I only have to wait 'til August 15th for his birthday posted by Cyril et Marie 6:47 pm
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.
Last Friday, my buddy Dan and I went to a shopping center to get him some new shoes. Once we got there, I realized, to my excitement, that because Easter is so close, those yearly miniature farms had already been set up. So after Dan bought his shoes we (o.k. maybe just me) went crazy over those little animals, trying to steal little cutie chicks and stuff them in Dan's new shoe box. But the maintenance guy said it wasn't a good idea because they need to be kept warm all the time (pffff as if Dan's shoes aren't warm enough!!) So anyways, we got to a cage where two really big fat peacocks were just hangin' on a pole and as Dan was yelling out loud to an old lady "Those babies would really be nice on a BBQ hey lady!?!" I noticed that a bunch of wrinkly old folks were sitting on couches right in the middle of the hall. You know what I'm talking about; in every mall, there's a spot where a random furniture store exposes some "in season" sofas. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate old people, not at all, cause I know one day I'll be old too so I respect them. But the thing is, I find it oh so very pathetic to see them just sitting on their couch, and knowing that another one of their old friend is gonna show up that day and sit beside him/her cause that's what their life has become. Giving "rendez-vous" on a couch in a mall. And what do they talk about? Absolutely nothing. They just sit there and look around, blowing their nose once in a while and sticking that Kleenex back into their sleeve. I was thinking of becoming a Big Sister for a child but maybe I should become a Little Sister for one of those elderly people and take him/her bowling or something. That could be good for my karma! posted by Cyril et Marie 10:56 pm
Saturday, April 05, 2003
HOLLY *BEEP*!!!!! I was surfing the net to figure out the best way to grow an avocado tree and here's a fact that I didn't know about "Keep in mind that avocados planted from seed take anywhere from 5 to 13 years before they flower and produce fruit." Might as well get to it right now! posted by Cyril et Marie 9:10 pm
There's a huge snow storm going on here right now. Damn it. I need some heat and light for my avocado babies!!! posted by Cyril et Marie 8:21 pm
Thursday, April 03, 2003
O.k., this is it folks!! I am now attempting to grow an avocado tree for good. I've got 5 nice big seeds on their way of giving birth to some beautiful living trees... o.k. there's no sign yet that something is gonna grow out of neither one of those seeds but hey, I've got lots of positive thoughts for them! AND I'm approximatly in my ovulation period right now so I'm thinking that if I spend lots of time with those babies, I'll eventualy see some fertilization process going on in those cotton balls!! posted by Cyril et Marie 4:28 am
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
Here is an American joke I found on an American website. There will be no further comments thank you.
One day a father and a child were walking down Mahattan Island. This was the
year 2032 and as the boy and the father were walking the father stopped and
told his son "see there son that is where your grandfather died during the
terrorist attack to the world trade center".
Then the boys asked in a confused way "what's a world trade center?" The
father answered by saying it was two of the biggest buildings in the World
but it was destroyed by a mad man from Afghanistan."
The boy was once again confused and asked "uhhhh Dad, what's Afghanistan?" posted by Cyril et Marie 12:11 am
Your quote of the day:
Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Yesterday I was watching a T.V. show about some women's love stories and how they magically found their loved ones. It was pathetically fluffy and had too much of that cheesy-romantic thing going on. And then I started thinking about my first "moment" with my boy...
We were sitting in the kitchen and he was talking about something that was really interesting at the beginning but the moment I layed eyes on his lips, I stopped listening to him and I just stared at his lips which seemed to be dancing as the words softly came out of his mouth. I was so caught in the moment that I cut him off and sayed "Would you mind if I'd brush your teeth?" All embarrassed he answers "O.k. so either I have really bad breath or I've got a big chunk stuck between my teeth!" (that's when I realized how stupid my question was) "NO NO!! I mean... it's just that... I feel like brushing your teeth, that's all!" (you see, it was my way of seeing how crazy this guy was, or on the negative side, how conventional he was) his answer "o.k., wanna do it in the bathroom or right here in the kitchen?" (Bingo!!!) So I answered back "Don't move, I'll get the toothbrush and the toothpaste"
So that's how my love story began *sigh* posted by Cyril et Marie 12:44 am
Tuesday, March 25, 2003
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
The disturbing psychological truth that participation in mass murder need not require emotions as extreme or demonic as would seem appropriate for such a malignant project. Or to put the matter another way, ordinary people can commit demonic acts. posted by Cyril et Marie 11:19 pm
Now that the war has begun, everyone is talking about it except me. So I guess like everyone else, I MUST say something about it; right? O.k. then, twist my arm. Here's pretty much what I have to say about it: Props to Michael Moore who stood up last night at the Oscars and said "Shame on you Mister Bush, nobody wants your war."
Michael, you're one hell of a good fellow, I truly admire you and therefore, your work. And for those of you out there who haven't seen his movie yet (Bowling for Columbine), what are you waiting for?!?! And I think that right now, because of everything going, is the best time to see that movie. Peace everyone. posted by Cyril et Marie 7:02 pm
Friday, March 21, 2003
Woke up this morning, looked out the window, saw it was raining. Made myself a Pina Colada while watching documentaries on the most beautiful beaches in the world and pretending it's nice and hot outside. After 3 Pina Coladas it does feel a bit hotter in here. Sweet :o) posted by Cyril et Marie 7:54 pm
Sunday, March 16, 2003
When you've got everything, you've got everything to lose posted by Cyril et Marie 10:27 pm
Saturday, March 15, 2003
Your daily humor:
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her
husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it
was such a good idea.
The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"
She said that she did.
He asked, "Does it hurt you?"
She said no.
The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you
shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you
take care not to get pregnant."
The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal
sex?"
The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
"You're a psychology student and you couldn't even psycho-analyze yourself. . . ."-- This is something I found on BUTTERFLYBRAT's blog (http://butterfliesandbrats.blogspot.com/). Makes me think of my bestfriend's step-father. He beats the shit out of her mom, cheats on her and she also suspects that he does stuff to her 2 little sisters. His job? Psychologist. Sick fucking bastard. posted by Cyril et Marie 7:34 pm
I've got this bad habit of reading the ingredient label on everything I eat. Last night, as I was eating a McCain frozen vanilla cake, I discovered that they actually put "beef gelatin" in there. That just ruined my munchies big time. I think I'll be heading for the library now... posted by Cyril et Marie 7:27 pm
Monday, March 10, 2003
Check this out. April 26th and 27th 2003, the Coachella Valley Festival is taking place in Indio California. Wanna know who's gonna be playing? Beastie Boys (who only played at 3 concerts since 1999), Red Hot Chili Peppers (but we don't care. Do we?), Ben Harper (who's new album is out TOMORROW by the way :o)), Jack Johnson and other such orgasmic artists. As you are reading this sentence, you're probably banging your head on your keyboard. There there my friend, I'm doing the same thing right now. Dammit.
There he is again. Right where he's supposed to be. He's reading "Sports Illustrated" and you should see the way he turns those precious pages. He manipulates that magazine as if it was the very first edition of Spider Man. His head is so nicely shaved and glowing, that if a sunshine hits it, the whole place is gonna set on fire within seconds (sorry Dan, you look good with your shiny head). Too bad for him though, all the little school girls are in class right now. Today I wore some very "plain" clothes cause I don't want him to notice me. But next time, I think I'll wear something really sexy and instead of sitting somewhere where he can't see me, I'll sit right in front of him. There's only so much that can happen in a library. posted by Cyril et Marie 6:06 pm
Wednesday, February 26, 2003
I am at the library right now and I just found myself a new wacko to study. And believe me, he is "la crème de la crème"! Here's how it all started.
First time I came to this library (not too long ago), first thing I noticed when I walked in was a guy sitting alone at a table, facing everyone (so he could have a good view of every person in the library). The minute I saw him, my heart stopped. Not too many things on this planet scares me, but this guy FREAKED me out. When I looked at him, he slowly looked up and stared right into my eyes as if he knew I was looking at him. He's got that kinda look that leaves you speachless. The Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal kinda look added with a Mona Lisa smile. And then I noticed something weird: he was reading women's magazines... hum...
The next day, I went back and there he was, sitting at the exact same spot. So I chose a computer that gave me a good view of him, but where he couldn't see me unless he turned his head. And I started watching him. There was a girl sitting at the table in front of him. He looked at her for about half an hour, and then he got up, walked up to here, (automatically she looked up) he gave her "THE" look, gently dropped a piece of paper on the table, and left without saying a word. The girl picked up the piece of paper, unfolded it, read it, put on a weird face and continued to read.
Today, he is still there. At his usual spot. And I know that if I look up, he's gonna stare into my eyes. posted by Cyril et Marie 8:05 pm
Sunday, February 09, 2003
"Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path."
It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might remember posted by Cyril et Marie 9:33 pm
Friday, January 31, 2003
My boyfriend thinks I'm a wacko because every morning for breakfast, when I take my hard boiled egg out of the hot water, I draw a face on it with a big black marker and then when I gently peel off the shell without breaking its face, I find a place for it to be confortable. Like this morning for instance, I placed the uncracked shell face on top of my bottle of shampoo, that way, it now has a body. You see it's the same thing as for fishing. People don't go fishing to catch fish. I don't boil eggs to eat them. My mom once explained to me that people who we describe as being weird, but whom we consider funny, usually grow up to be serial killers.
Bang! posted by Cyril et Marie 9:22 pm
Wednesday, January 29, 2003
My everyday life is so full of dilemas.... Should I start looking for a full time job or just hit the road for a nice road-trip down south where it's warm and sunny.... If so, I'll now change my name to Tequila Maria. And if not, I'll just go with Bloody Mary. posted by Cyril et Marie 11:25 pm
Friday, January 24, 2003
Grrrr.... my little angel spoke louder than my devil and so I payed my last car payments with all my traveling money :o( I'm really sad about it but at least, from now on, all the money I'll try and put aside will fully be mine. And also, now I can sell my car this summer :o))) posted by Cyril et Marie 10:42 pm
Tuesday, January 21, 2003
I'm in an urge to go on a trip with tropical tunes, clear blue seas, Pina Coladas, sunshine, sunshine and more sunshine!!! My S.A.D. is kicking in big time and I can't stand these freezing temperatures for another month! Yesterday I went to see a travel agent and she gave me some good deals for Thaïland... problem is, the money I would be spending for this trip would be the money I saved up for Europe next year... oh well, there's always the option "summer jobs" until then :o) One thing's for sure, if I go there, I'm gonna take Thaï cooking lessons and I am gonna get soooo fat!!! mmmMMMmmm... Pad-Thaï. Yummy!
Sawateekah posted by Cyril et Marie 7:27 pm
Wednesday, January 15, 2003
Hey guess what?!? I'M ALIVE!!!!! I haven't been here in a while since I am now jobless (thank god!!!) and because I have no computer at my place, I have to go at my boy's University to open up my brain.
I think my last words of wisdom before I die will be "never get sucked into an office job. It will kill you"
I'm so happy to be out of that place, that maybe I'll finally be able to grow that avocado tree. I even had time to send some postcards to my friends when I got back from NY. Oh yeah, I went to New York for new year's eve... waited 4 hours standing around Time Square surrounded with 500 000 people just to see the countdown machine going blank at 37 seconds before midnight (viva la technologie), and then that famous ball that looks so big on T.V. but who is actually pretty freaking small (smaller than an american flag) exploding into a few fireworks. Wouhou. By the time it was 1 am, Time Square was completely empty and I was drinking champagne (it was cheaper than a Pina Colada) with my boyfriend in some weird Irish pub. I had fun taking pictures with gorilla-look-alike-police-officers on our way back though.
Want my opinion? New York is some kind of big publicity scam.
Oh and the statue of liberty? ain't that big either.
When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything, he had'nt encountered the problem of parking his automobile. Especially during the holidays. posted by Cyril et Marie 7:23 pm
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Why is it that is seems like the people who have naturally curly hair are so bubbly?!? Even if you don't know them, just by the way they walk or act, you can tell that that curly person is so damn happy!! I mean we categorize blonds as being stupid, why shouldn't curly people be categorized as happy people?!?! The perfect fact to proove this: if you dress up as a clown, automatically, you'll wear a curly wig and what is the main purpose of clowns? To make people laugh!! Marylin Monroe had curly hair and was always smiling on her pictures.... hum.. o.k. maybe booze and medicine had something to do with this one!!! But Roberto Belini, who played in "La vista bella" made everyone laugh and smile at life with that movie and he has curly hair!! And I betcha if Buddha had hair, it would be curly! Moral of this story, for the next elections, we should choose a president with curly hair, cause if he turns out to be just as bad as the other ones, at least he'll make us laugh!!
&:o) posted by Cyril et Marie 5:25 pm
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
I wanna be a kid again. Last night insomnia took over my beauty sleep and decided I was gonna have a general life crisis. I realized how much it was fun to be a kid. I mean, when you're just a little munchkin, the worst thing that can happen to you is to loose your favorite HotWheel, and the best thing that could happen to you is to spot a baby rabbit in a forest. Christmas time is the best time of the year. Everyone can be your friend, and if you get into a fight, you forget about it 5 minutes later. You don't have to worry about anything because your mommy is there to comfort you, spoil you and make you feel better, while your daddy protects you, shows you new things like building a doll house out of scratch, and how to ride a bike. You think the word "politics and government" are flower names, and you think you can buy a house with 100$. Finding the trap to the attic in your house changes your life and equals endless hours of "make pretend" with your friends. The saddest moments on T.V. is seing your favorite cartoon character getting pushed in a ravine.
But as you add candles to your birthday cake, you realize all the details about life that you never noticed, or never understood. You find out that the guy who lives next door and who seemed like the nicest guy, actually beats the shit out of his wife. You've got 3 uncles on your father's side who are drug addicts and your grandfather was an alcoholic. "Shit hits the fan" becomes more and more familiar in your vocabulary. Christmas time means to use-up your credit cards and try to find a freakin' parking space at the mall. You realize how much your parents were right about everything. You don't understand how your mom manages to cook, clean and do the laundry at the same time. 100$ doesn't even last a week in your wallet, and you try to figure out a way to budget everything you have to pay for. And when your day is almost over, you sit in front of the T.V., exhausted, and what do you watch? The news who shows you all the bad sides of this world, the murders, the wars, tax increase, less employees in the hospitals, people dying of a new virus blablabla.... And when you become an elderly person who is aching, almost deaf and blind, who can only move with a wheelchair, you look silently at this new generation who is taking over our planet, and the society who is getting worst every day. Kids don't play with wooden horses no more, they play cops and robbers with guns. So basically, life ain't gonna get better for no one so might as well appreciate those small things in life and look at them with the eyes you used to have when you were young; a christmas tree is not just a regular tree, it's a magical element of an amazingly happy moment. Carpe Diem posted by Cyril et Marie 5:32 pm
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
I love my friends!!! This morning my best buddy Daniel called me up all excited because Mister has found THE perfect girl and the best part is... she lives right next door to him! He's really crazy about her but doesn't even know her name or if she has a boyfriend... this is the part where I get involved in the situation. Because apparently I'm full of imagination and willing to do pretty much anything for Hagen Däaz, I now have gotten myself in a plan where I have to go knock on that girl's door, pretend to be someone from the government who is making an update of everyone living in the neighbourhood, ask her a bunch of questions like her name, her age, if she is living by herself etc etc.. Why am I such a freak?!?! posted by Cyril et Marie 7:16 pm
Friday, December 06, 2002
Last night I went with a couple of my girlfriends to this crappy little hunter's bar filled with hairy men full of testosterone and ready to attack. We were sitting at our table sipping our drinks and listening to the anoying song of Las Ketchup when this guy comes up to me and says:
HIM "hey what's up?" .
Now that is something I cannot stand. If you're a guy and we're in a bar, do NOT approach me. That's probably one of the only time you'll see my cruel side. and I won't give any warnings.
So I look him in the eyes and say
ME "what?"
HIM "how's it going Valerie?"
ME "Nice try buddy, my name ain't Valerie. And I'll make things easier for you, I have a boyfriend. Bye now."
So he blushes and all shy he answers
HIM "oh my god, I'm so sorry, I really thought... I.....never mind"
And then he leaves. So I'm sitting there thinking, oh shit, I think he really did thought I was someone else, he looked so embarassed poor guy, maybe I was a little bit to harsh on him... Then I start wondering if I should go appologize to him and my friends are all like "Damn Marie, I think you broke that guys heart, he looked so innocent and sweet!!" When all of a sudden, the bartender comes up to me with a beer and says "this is from Martin, he says he's sorry for the mix up and wants to make it up to you" I look around the bar to spot him, and when I finally do, I find him staring at me all horny and he winks at me...
Moral of this story: If a guy talks to you in a bar, it's not because he thinks you look friendly or because it's a coïncidence, it's because he wants to get laid. Never trust a guy with a beer in his hand.
Asshole posted by Cyril et Marie 5:00 pm
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
Stupid fucking avocado seeds!!! It's been 6 months now since I've been trying to grow an avocado tree with numberless techniques and all sorts of different kinds of avocado seeds and NOTHING!!!! How am I supposed to raise a child in this society if I can't even grow something out of a seed?!?! Damn. And plus, I eat so many avocados that I could've saved enough money to go on a trip with that tree! I even tried talking to it cause apparently it helps... oh shit, maybe it doesn't understand French?! Oh shit, of course... avocados come from central america. Oups! O.k. I don't think it has anything to do with it but hey, I have to try to find something to blame it on!! Forget it, I'll try something else... a peanut tree?! Oh, wait, peanuts actually grow IN the ground. Hum... posted by Cyril et Marie 8:25 pm
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired
their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we
could have paradise in a few years.
Just got back from lunch. I had a grilled cream cheese, seafood dip, mushroom, lemon and swiss cheese sandwich, squeezed all together. I'm DEFINITELY going to do the groceries tonight *burp* posted by Cyril et Marie 7:32 pm
TYLENOL. That was basically my breakfast this morning. Last night was my christmas party at the restaurant I work for (job #1) and I had almost forgotten the side effects of these 2 words: Open-Bar. Top that with incredibly orgasmic FREE food, a fellow co-worker impersonating Elvis in front of everyone, the Big Boss lighting up a joint and passing it around to everyone (28 people in total), and you've got yourself a pretty fucking crazy night!!! I was used to the really lame office parties (job #2) where everyone pretends to have fun and because you find nothing in common with each other, the main topic of the night is always work related. And the supervisor tries to be funny by telling the same stupid stories she always tells to everyone and you feel the obligation to laugh because she's the boss and she can be a bitch sometimes and you don't want that. But that wasn't what last night was all about and I'm pretty glad! But I think I went a little crazy on the red wine cause even after brushing my teeth 3 times, my mouth is still purple today. If people ask, I'll just say I drank grape Crush (sick). posted by Cyril et Marie 5:42 pm
Friday, November 29, 2002
If you are a guy and want to learn some various news ways to masturbate, check out this website:
http://jackinworld.com/
This week's suggestion is how to jerk off using the Mr.Spock technique (Never thought that Mr.Spock could have any sexual meanings to some people *shivers*)
And in the section "HANDLINES! Masturbation in the news", you can read this story of the week:
SCIENTIST BURNS PENIS WITH HOT LAPTOP
Reuters (November 22)
London, England: Laptops have always been a hot item but a 50-year-old scientist didn't realize to what extent until he burned his penis. The previously healthy father of two remembered feeling a burning sensation after he had been writing a report at home for about an hour with the computer on his lap.
Now if that would ever happen to me, the one thing I would NOT do is alert the medias and let them interviem me!! posted by Cyril et Marie 5:44 pm
"Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural & spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity" Albert Einstein
You're damn right Albert!!! posted by Cyril et Marie 5:25 pm
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Your daily humor:
"Why are you tearing up your homework notebook and scattering the pieces
around the classroom?" a furious teacher asked one of her pupils.
:: Serendipity :: n : accidental sagacity; the faculty of making fortunate discoveries of things you were not looking for. posted by Cyril et Marie 8:33 pm
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Young people wearing white smocks walking everywhere with a fast pace and security cards tied around their necks, each door locked by an electronical device, volunteers escorted by the white people coming in and out of rooms each wearing a bracelet with numbers written on 'em, the constant, loud "BING!" of the elevator announcing the unknow, the smell of inhumanity, the feeling of itching starting to haunt my body , yes I HAVE to experiment all this. posted by Cyril et Marie 4:30 pm
Thursday, November 14, 2002
Are you a freaked-out citizen? Last night, because I was having a really stinky day, I decided to wear some perfume and to go to the movies BY MYSELF. So I went to see "Bowling for Columbine". Wow. The first thing you see on the screen are the credits so I was thinking "Man this is gonna be great!" and it's in fact the best documentary I've seen. It makes you laugh your head off, cry of compassion, cry of happiness, shake your head in horror, leaves you speachless, makes you wanna scream, hug the person who's sitting next to you, stop watching T.V. and once it's over, you wanna run to the nearest library and spend the whole night looking for statistics, facts, answers. Michael Moore is a pure genius. He turns America upside down in 120 minutes. "Bowling for Columbine" was the first documentary film accepted into competition at the Cannes Film Festival in 46 years. The Cannes jury unanimously awarded it the 55th Anniversary Prize and it's no surprise! At the end of the movie, everyone in the room stood up and applaused. Now THAT's a pure fucking "chef-d'oeuvre" right there. And as I left the theatre with my chin up in the air, I knew I was now equipped with a shit-proof uniform. posted by Cyril et Marie 4:06 pm
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
O.k. I've got it!!! Here's something happy that's happening to me, I found out this week that I've got a ladybug as a house pet! Hum... being the lucky girl that I am, it's probably a pregnant one who's gonna infest my house with hundreds of babies soon... *sigh* posted by Cyril et Marie 7:08 pm
ARGH!!!!! I have to go buy a plant tonight because I can smell my winter depression who's already trying to strangle me. OR it's one of those "tests" that life is making me pass... Throwing the most shit at me just to see how much I can handle. And of course, all of this is happening while I'm on my stupid diet and that I can't comfort myself with Cookie Dough ice cream!!! grrrr.... posted by Cyril et Marie 4:56 pm
Why is it that the people you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the most? All that loving should be able to control all that sadness generated by situations you'd like to burry somewhere in China but no, it just hurts like a bitch. And somehow you ask yourself how it's possible to switch from the greatest feeling, to the most heart-crushing one. Then you say to yourself, here's something I won't let happen to me ever again! But... it WILL happen again and it Will probably hurt even more the next time! That's the balance of life. If you have really big joys, then you'll have really big disapointments *sigh* I miss my cat. posted by Cyril et Marie 3:21 pm
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
I was looking for a website with the words "Carpe Diem" when I found something I wasn't expecting to find. There's this website about premature ejaculation and impotence treatment who's maxim is Carpe Diem... pretty self-explanatory!! posted by Cyril et Marie 7:38 pm
Monday, November 11, 2002
Why are white sox such a big fucking deal?!?! Yesterday the girls in my department were having this huge discussion on how white sox should be banned forever and should'nt even had been invented in the first place (along with purses without mirrors). One of them even said "If I'd be to meet the man of my dreams and then see that he's wearing white sox, I'd walk right out of there and he would'nt hear from me ever again!!!" WHO CARES??? People are dying every day in this cruel world and all they think about is what kind of sox a man is wearing?! Now I understand why they stopped asking for my opinion the day I told them that volunteering was more important than trying to find a matching purse for your shoes. I mean o.k. sure I won't wear white sox with a skirt but if someone wants to do it, hey, go for it!! The one thing I enjoy at my work place theses days, is that now that I know I'm leaving soon, I don't care if that stuck-up "Directeur général" walks besides me with a big smile on his face while I'm listening to "The Stokes" on my CD player and talking to my fish and that I don't ever bother saying "Good morning" to him. As a matter of fact, I'm starting to think of a plan for my last day at work... something really juicy that people would notice for sure, but wouldn't know who did it... Stick a fish in the ceiling maybe? Or pour Vodka in the coffee machine?.... o.k. this one I bet nobody would notice since it's a common thing here at the office. Hum... the "D-G's" BMW would look nice with a picture of a naked guy on his license plate, with him driving it and not knowing about it.... O.k. I have to gather my devilish thoughts and one of my good friends who's mind is just as twisted as mine. To be continued.... posted by Cyril et Marie 9:41 pm
Leo and I ate some unsalted-non-buttery-popcorn together last Friday. We didn't exchange any sentences, we just stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds and then he looked away, with a weird frightening look on his face and then he said without any expression, "thanks". He seems like a very lost man trying not to reach out, but realizing that it's his only choice now (even though he'll never admit it). I just hope he'll accept it before he blows up the place, and himself at the same time. O.k. next time it'll be Häagen Daz. posted by Cyril et Marie 3:15 pm
Friday, November 08, 2002
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots posted by Cyril et Marie 7:13 pm
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots posted by Cyril et Marie 5:44 pm
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots posted by Cyril et Marie 5:43 pm
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots posted by Cyril et Marie 3:14 pm
Thursday, November 07, 2002
My boyfriend and I decided to go on a diet, not because we're overweighted, but because the words fruits and vegetables were missing from our vocabulary. So now we munch on tomato salads, vanilla ice cream (instead of triple fudge orgasmic delite), and zuchinis. But just to remind me how great life is, every morning with my bowl of tasteless nutritious cereal I eat a couple of slices of pepperoni sticks. It also gives me an excuse to stop hidding chunks of tofu in practically every meal I cook for him, and now say "Hey, tofu is really healthy, I could try and cook you something with it, but in very small pieces." He agrees annd of course, I disctreetly stuff the whole thing with it. But it really is easier when there's someone living with you who is on the same diet. Cause it would be a real torture if I'd be seating at the table, eating my grass-crispie's squares while your mate is stuffing his belly with nachos topped with black olives, jalapenos, extra extra cheese, sour cream, guacamole and salsa. And then you're thinking:" ... well maybe if I replace the cheese with tofu and the sour cream with fat free soya milk... Nah!!" It just can't happen.
Right now I'm doing fine and enjoying it. Hope it lasts!! posted by Cyril et Marie 7:36 pm
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up
where I intended to be.
This is one of the sickest serial killer story I've ever read.... a nipple belt?!?!?! What wouldn't you do for fashion these days!
Born at the turn of the century on August 27,1906 in the city of La Crosse, Wisconsin to George And Augusta Gein.The Geins ran a small grocery store in La Crosse until 1914 when Augusta the head of the household decided to move the family into the small farming community of Plainfield, Wisconsin, Gein lived a repressive and solitary life on his family homestead with a weak, ineffectual brother and domineering mother who taught him from an early age that sex was a sinful thing. Eddie ran the family's 160-acre farm on the outskirts of Plainfield until his brother Henry died in 1944 and his mother in 1945. When she died her son was a thirty-nine-year-old bachelor, still emotionally enslaved to the woman who had tyrannized his life. The rest of the house, however, soon degenerated into a madman's shambles. Thanks to federal subsidies, Gein no longer needed to farm his land, and he abandoned it to do odd jobs here and there for the Plainfield residents, to earn him a little extra cash. But he remained alone in the enormous farmhouse, haunted by the ghost of his overbearing mother, whose bedroom he kept locked and undisturbed, exactly as it had been when she was alive. He also sealed off the drawing room and five more upstairs rooms, living only in one downstairs room and the kitchen."Weird old Eddie", as the local community had come to know him, had begun to develop a psychotic interest in the intimate anatomy of the female body - and interest that was fed by medical encyclopedias, books on anatomy, pulp horror novels and pornographic magazines. He became particularly interested in the atrocities committed by the Nazis during the Second World War and the medical experiments performed on Jews in the concentration camps. Soon he graduated on to the real thing by digging up decaying female corpses by night in the local Wisconsin cemeteries. These he would dissect and keep some parts heads, sex organs, livers, hearts and intestines. Then he would flay the skin from the body, wearing it himself to dance and cavort around the homestead - a practice that apparently gave him intense gratification. On other occasions, Gein took only the body parts that particularly interested him. He was especially fascinated by the excised female genitalia, which he would fondle and play with, sometimes stuffing them into a pair of women's panties, which he would then wear around the house. Obviously, he quickly became a recluse in the community, discouraging any visitors from coming near his by now neglected and decaying farm. Gein's fascination with the female body eventually led him to seek out fresher samples. His victims, usually women of his mother's age, included 54-year old Mary Hogan, who disappeared from the tavern she ran in December 1954, and Bernice Worden, a woman in her late fifties who ran the local hardware store, who disappeared on the 16th November 1957. Mrs. Worden's son Frank was also the sheriff's deputy, and upon learning that weird old Eddie Gein had been spotted in town on the day of his mother's disappearance, Frank Worden and the sheriff went to check out the old Gein place, already infamous amongst the local children as a haunted house.There, the gruesome evidence proved that Gein's bizarre obsessions had finally exploded into murder, and much, much worse. In the summer kitchen of the house was the naked, headless body of Bernice Worden, hanging upside down from a meat hook and slit open down the front. Her head and intestines were discovered in a box, and her heart in a plastic bag in the dining room. The skins from ten human heads were found preserved, and another skin taken from the upper torso of a woman was rolled up on the floor. There was a belt fashioned from carved-off nipples, a chair upholstered in human skin, the crown of a skull used as a soup-bowl, lampshades covered in flesh pilled taut, a table propped up by a human shinbones, and The four posts on Gein's bed were topped with skulls and a human head hung on the wall alongside nine death-masks - the skinned faces of women - and decorative bracelets made out of human skin. The stunned searchers also uncovered a soup bowls fashioned from skulls, a shoe box full of female genitalia, faces stuffed with newspapers and mounted like hunting trophies on the walls, and a "mammary vest" flayed from the torso of a woman. Gein later confessed that he enjoyed dressing himself in this and other human-skin garments and pretending he was his own mother.
The scattered remains of an estimated fifteen bodies were found at the farmhouse when Gein was eventually arrested, but he could not remember how many murders he had actually committed. The discovery of these Gothic horrors sent shock waves throughout Eisenhower-era America. In Wisconsin itself, Gein quickly entered local folklore. Within weeks of his arrest, macabre Jokes called "Geiners" became a statewide craze. The country as a whole learned about Gein in December 1957, when both Life and Time magazines ran features on his "house of horrors." After ten years in a mental hospital, Gein was judged competent to stand trial. Although considered fit to stand trial, Eddie was found guilty, but criminally insane. He was first committed to the Central State Hospital at Waupon, and then in 1978 he was moved to the Mendota Mental Health Institute where he died in the geriatric ward in 1984, aged seventy-seven. It is said he was always a model prisoner - gentle, polite and discreet. He died of respiratory and heart failure in 1984
Leo just arrived, all bubbly as usual, and is wearing the same brown pants. I wonder if he likes caffeine? Maybe I could buy him a coffee just to see his reaction... and maybe add a bit of kahlùa in it to see if he thinks I put some kind of crazy mix in it because I found out who he really is and now I'm trying to kill him... O.k. maybe not cause he might try to hit me with his super large beige laptop for revange and that would be way too embarassing for me to try and explain afterwards to people the cause of the bump on my head...
Halloween is really not far away and I still haven't found a costume yet. And I don't want to dress up as something typical like a pumpkin or a witch so I was thinking of being a jar of marmelade... and then I remembered I hate marmelade. Maybe a mosquito? *sigh* I just know I'm gonna try and find the BEST costume all week long, and then on Halloween day I'm gonna realize I haven't found one yet so I'm gonna use up all the toilet paper at my house and dress up as a mummy. (and probably set my costume on fire when someone in the bar is gonna throw his cigarette at me). Hey a monkey is cute... and yesterday at my bartending class I learned how to make horny monkey shooters so I could drink that at the party...
My fish almost died yesterday. He had crazy gas, and when he tried to swim at the bottom of his bowl, he kept on floating back on top of the water. Today he's o.k. so he probably let out a major burp and that is the reason why there is now a bunch of bubbles at the surface of the water. Well, I hope those are burp bubbles... right? posted by Cyril et Marie 4:19 pm
Thursday, October 17, 2002
I now have a new reason to get up in the morning. There's this guy who's been coming at my work place every 2 days or so and who is really intriguing. He comes in through the main door, says "hi" to pretty much every person he meets in the hall, and sits 2 desks away from me (there's a free desk there). He carries an old-old-school beige laptop (I suspect it to be a prototype of the very first laptop to be ever sold on the market), plugs it into one of our computers and transfers info back and forth from his laptop to our computer etc. The thing is, he acts as if he knows everyone in the office (everytime he sees me he looks at me with a big smile and says "Oh hi, how are you!") but I've asked pretty much every employee and nobody knows who he is... And he fits in our crowd perfectly, like he's one of us when actually.... he's not! So I'm guessing he's either a very very friendly data guy in charge of fixing our system or updating something.... OR he's a real smart-ass who figured that if he'd go into a random office, act like he knows everyone and sits down all natural at one of our desks, he could get away with hacking-up our system without anyone noticing anything. Wish I would've thought of that. So from now on, I'll call him Leo. posted by Cyril et Marie 9:19 pm
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
If you think your life is pathetic, go to this following link and afterwards, you'll feel like your life is a tremendously big sundae smothered with hot fudge and cookie dough
http://www.theonion.com/onion3837/man_looks_forward.html posted by Cyril et Marie 3:42 pm
Friday, October 11, 2002
There's this lady that sits at the desk in front of me at work who looks like a melted Barbie doll. Today she's wearing a black leather skirt and everytime she moves her ass on her chair, it makes this weird sound and I always think it's my cell phone vibrating in my purse, and every time I grab my phone to answer it. I think it's time for another "café-Kahlùa". posted by Cyril et Marie 8:05 pm
A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.
God I can't believe how clueless I am when it comes to love. I really suck at it. I just don't understand the fact that you're supposed to love ONE person for the rest of your life and dedicate the biggest part of your emotions to him/her (depends how I feel). Maybe I'm just weird or....... o.k. I'm just weird. But I much rather have a few very close people that I can fully trust, laugh, cry and eat Tutto Gelatto with, because that way, I can enjoy different types of personalities. Being with the same person all the time is just way to redundant, and after a while, you can guess exactly what kind of ice cream he's gonna pick at the grocery store... that's just WAY too wrong! My hairdresser tells me it's only because I haven't found my soulmate yet... but I can't really take his advices because he's a gay 42 year old guy with a 5 year old kid, a 21 year old girlfriend and he swears he's gonna open up a salon on a space platform before he dies, because when people are gonna start moving to the moon, they're gonna need someone to cut their hair, especially with all that gravity. I just like rubbing his belly for good luck. And plus, that's my biggest fear; finding my "soulmate", my "monopolizer". The person who knows everything about me, who knows exactly when I'm sad, angry, or when I need my dose of starfruit. The other day, I was having a tea at some patchoulie smelling pub, and I was sitting near a girl who was about to say something to her boyfriend when he suddenly stopped her and said "Wait, I know exactly what you're gonna say..." And he guessed right. That just gives me goosebumps and makes me wanna shave my head. It's o.k. for me to be around my friends who are in a relationship, I mean I won't try to convice them that soon she's gonna wake up one night, go for a piss and sit on a cold porcelain rim because her "honey bunny" forgot to lower the toilet seat, but it's just not for me. For a while there I thought I was a homosexuel trapped in a lesbian body (still not clear on that one), but after a few vodkas, I came up with the conclusion that I just love life in general. posted by Cyril et Marie 5:38 pm
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
Best newspaper headlines of years past.
1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
10. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
11. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
12. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
13. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
14. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
15. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
16. War Dims Hope for Peace
17. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
18. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
19. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Have you ever hidden yourself in a box when you were young, and rolled around in it, not really knowing where you were going, what you were about to hit, or worse, what was about to hit you (I'd drive over a box of cartboard with my car if I didn't know someone was in it)? Well that's exactly how my job feels like. At the beginning, it seems really fun and daring so you jump into it. But once you're trapped between those walls, you realize that you feel as if you are moving ahead, but you can't actually see that with your own eyes so the only thing left to do is hope that all that effort that you're putting in to push that box in a certain direction will take you to a very nice place. But fuck that bullshit!!! This week, I've decided to rip open my box (and maybe burn it later... oh no wait, I'll recycle it to save a monkey) and walk with my own two feet. I meet way too many people who tell me the same homily about how we only have one life to live and blablabla but you know what? It sounds cliché (I hate that word) but it actually is true. If Jean Chrétien can be the prime minister of Canada, than I can be the one who types the credits at the end of porn movies. I swear this guy is the head Alien sent from a freaky planet to analyse what the "border line of too much stupidity in order for a politician to get elected" is. And just as I thought he had already crossed that line, he says to Bill Clinton at a "sommet de l'aléna" when asked about his opinion on the fact that more and more drugs are coming in to Canada from the States:
-Jean Chrétien; "Trucks? It's good! Let them come across the border! We will
take all we can get"
-Bill Clinton; "HEY! We talk about DRUGS!"
Wow, o.k. this is pretty interesting... Now you're able to jump into my wacky bubble and flot away along with my thoughts... I was thinking of writing something big today since it's my first time here (god this sounds so pathetic!), but then again, I guess this sums it all:
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right
place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Living in a vaccum sucks 
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
