Friday, November 29, 2002

 
If you are a guy and want to learn some various news ways to masturbate, check out this website:
http://jackinworld.com/
This week's suggestion is how to jerk off using the Mr.Spock technique (Never thought that Mr.Spock could have any sexual meanings to some people *shivers*)

And in the section "HANDLINES! Masturbation in the news", you can read this story of the week:

SCIENTIST BURNS PENIS WITH HOT LAPTOP
Reuters (November 22)
London, England: Laptops have always been a hot item but a 50-year-old scientist didn't realize to what extent until he burned his penis. The previously healthy father of two remembered feeling a burning sensation after he had been writing a report at home for about an hour with the computer on his lap.

Now if that would ever happen to me, the one thing I would NOT do is alert the medias and let them interviem me!!
posted by Cyril et Marie 5:44 pm

 
"Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural & spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity" Albert Einstein

You're damn right Albert!!!
posted by Cyril et Marie 5:25 pm

Tuesday, November 26, 2002

 

Your daily humor:

"Why are you tearing up your homework notebook and scattering the pieces
around the classroom?" a furious teacher asked one of her pupils.

"To keep the elephants away, Miss."

"There are no elephants."

"Shows how effective it is then, doesn't it?"

posted by Cyril et Marie 8:47 pm

 
Here's what I want for christmas:

:: Serendipity :: n : accidental sagacity; the faculty of making fortunate discoveries of things you were not looking for.
posted by Cyril et Marie 8:33 pm

Thursday, November 21, 2002

 
Young people wearing white smocks walking everywhere with a fast pace and security cards tied around their necks, each door locked by an electronical device, volunteers escorted by the white people coming in and out of rooms each wearing a bracelet with numbers written on 'em, the constant, loud "BING!" of the elevator announcing the unknow, the smell of inhumanity, the feeling of itching starting to haunt my body , yes I HAVE to experiment all this.
posted by Cyril et Marie 4:30 pm

Thursday, November 14, 2002

 
Are you a freaked-out citizen? Last night, because I was having a really stinky day, I decided to wear some perfume and to go to the movies BY MYSELF. So I went to see "Bowling for Columbine". Wow. The first thing you see on the screen are the credits so I was thinking "Man this is gonna be great!" and it's in fact the best documentary I've seen. It makes you laugh your head off, cry of compassion, cry of happiness, shake your head in horror, leaves you speachless, makes you wanna scream, hug the person who's sitting next to you, stop watching T.V. and once it's over, you wanna run to the nearest library and spend the whole night looking for statistics, facts, answers. Michael Moore is a pure genius. He turns America upside down in 120 minutes. "Bowling for Columbine" was the first documentary film accepted into competition at the Cannes Film Festival in 46 years. The Cannes jury unanimously awarded it the 55th Anniversary Prize and it's no surprise! At the end of the movie, everyone in the room stood up and applaused. Now THAT's a pure fucking "chef-d'oeuvre" right there. And as I left the theatre with my chin up in the air, I knew I was now equipped with a shit-proof uniform.
posted by Cyril et Marie 4:06 pm

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

 
O.k. I've got it!!! Here's something happy that's happening to me, I found out this week that I've got a ladybug as a house pet! Hum... being the lucky girl that I am, it's probably a pregnant one who's gonna infest my house with hundreds of babies soon... *sigh*
posted by Cyril et Marie 7:08 pm

 
ARGH!!!!! I have to go buy a plant tonight because I can smell my winter depression who's already trying to strangle me. OR it's one of those "tests" that life is making me pass... Throwing the most shit at me just to see how much I can handle. And of course, all of this is happening while I'm on my stupid diet and that I can't comfort myself with Cookie Dough ice cream!!! grrrr....
posted by Cyril et Marie 4:56 pm

 
Why is it that the people you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the most? All that loving should be able to control all that sadness generated by situations you'd like to burry somewhere in China but no, it just hurts like a bitch. And somehow you ask yourself how it's possible to switch from the greatest feeling, to the most heart-crushing one. Then you say to yourself, here's something I won't let happen to me ever again! But... it WILL happen again and it Will probably hurt even more the next time! That's the balance of life. If you have really big joys, then you'll have really big disapointments *sigh* I miss my cat.
posted by Cyril et Marie 3:21 pm

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

 
I was looking for a website with the words "Carpe Diem" when I found something I wasn't expecting to find. There's this website about premature ejaculation and impotence treatment who's maxim is Carpe Diem... pretty self-explanatory!!
posted by Cyril et Marie 7:38 pm

Monday, November 11, 2002

 
Why are white sox such a big fucking deal?!?! Yesterday the girls in my department were having this huge discussion on how white sox should be banned forever and should'nt even had been invented in the first place (along with purses without mirrors). One of them even said "If I'd be to meet the man of my dreams and then see that he's wearing white sox, I'd walk right out of there and he would'nt hear from me ever again!!!" WHO CARES??? People are dying every day in this cruel world and all they think about is what kind of sox a man is wearing?! Now I understand why they stopped asking for my opinion the day I told them that volunteering was more important than trying to find a matching purse for your shoes. I mean o.k. sure I won't wear white sox with a skirt but if someone wants to do it, hey, go for it!! The one thing I enjoy at my work place theses days, is that now that I know I'm leaving soon, I don't care if that stuck-up "Directeur général" walks besides me with a big smile on his face while I'm listening to "The Stokes" on my CD player and talking to my fish and that I don't ever bother saying "Good morning" to him. As a matter of fact, I'm starting to think of a plan for my last day at work... something really juicy that people would notice for sure, but wouldn't know who did it... Stick a fish in the ceiling maybe? Or pour Vodka in the coffee machine?.... o.k. this one I bet nobody would notice since it's a common thing here at the office. Hum... the "D-G's" BMW would look nice with a picture of a naked guy on his license plate, with him driving it and not knowing about it.... O.k. I have to gather my devilish thoughts and one of my good friends who's mind is just as twisted as mine. To be continued....
posted by Cyril et Marie 9:41 pm

 
Leo and I ate some unsalted-non-buttery-popcorn together last Friday. We didn't exchange any sentences, we just stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds and then he looked away, with a weird frightening look on his face and then he said without any expression, "thanks". He seems like a very lost man trying not to reach out, but realizing that it's his only choice now (even though he'll never admit it). I just hope he'll accept it before he blows up the place, and himself at the same time. O.k. next time it'll be Häagen Daz.
posted by Cyril et Marie 3:15 pm

Friday, November 08, 2002

 
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots
posted by Cyril et Marie 7:13 pm

 
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots
posted by Cyril et Marie 5:44 pm

 
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots
posted by Cyril et Marie 5:43 pm

 
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots
posted by Cyril et Marie 3:14 pm

Thursday, November 07, 2002

 
My boyfriend and I decided to go on a diet, not because we're overweighted, but because the words fruits and vegetables were missing from our vocabulary. So now we munch on tomato salads, vanilla ice cream (instead of triple fudge orgasmic delite), and zuchinis. But just to remind me how great life is, every morning with my bowl of tasteless nutritious cereal I eat a couple of slices of pepperoni sticks. It also gives me an excuse to stop hidding chunks of tofu in practically every meal I cook for him, and now say "Hey, tofu is really healthy, I could try and cook you something with it, but in very small pieces." He agrees annd of course, I disctreetly stuff the whole thing with it. But it really is easier when there's someone living with you who is on the same diet. Cause it would be a real torture if I'd be seating at the table, eating my grass-crispie's squares while your mate is stuffing his belly with nachos topped with black olives, jalapenos, extra extra cheese, sour cream, guacamole and salsa. And then you're thinking:" ... well maybe if I replace the cheese with tofu and the sour cream with fat free soya milk... Nah!!" It just can't happen.
Right now I'm doing fine and enjoying it. Hope it lasts!!
posted by Cyril et Marie 7:36 pm