Recently turned 22 and expecting this year to be the most crazy year of my life, just like the last 22 others. I have a nameless insomniac fish and not enough memory cells.I find ''vulve'' to be the funniest French word and I can't grow an avocado tree for shit.
Wednesday, December 18, 2002
When Solomon said there was a time and a place for everything, he had'nt encountered the problem of parking his automobile. Especially during the holidays. posted by Cyril et Marie 7:23 pm
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Why is it that is seems like the people who have naturally curly hair are so bubbly?!? Even if you don't know them, just by the way they walk or act, you can tell that that curly person is so damn happy!! I mean we categorize blonds as being stupid, why shouldn't curly people be categorized as happy people?!?! The perfect fact to proove this: if you dress up as a clown, automatically, you'll wear a curly wig and what is the main purpose of clowns? To make people laugh!! Marylin Monroe had curly hair and was always smiling on her pictures.... hum.. o.k. maybe booze and medicine had something to do with this one!!! But Roberto Belini, who played in "La vista bella" made everyone laugh and smile at life with that movie and he has curly hair!! And I betcha if Buddha had hair, it would be curly! Moral of this story, for the next elections, we should choose a president with curly hair, cause if he turns out to be just as bad as the other ones, at least he'll make us laugh!!
&:o) posted by Cyril et Marie 5:25 pm
Tuesday, December 10, 2002
I wanna be a kid again. Last night insomnia took over my beauty sleep and decided I was gonna have a general life crisis. I realized how much it was fun to be a kid. I mean, when you're just a little munchkin, the worst thing that can happen to you is to loose your favorite HotWheel, and the best thing that could happen to you is to spot a baby rabbit in a forest. Christmas time is the best time of the year. Everyone can be your friend, and if you get into a fight, you forget about it 5 minutes later. You don't have to worry about anything because your mommy is there to comfort you, spoil you and make you feel better, while your daddy protects you, shows you new things like building a doll house out of scratch, and how to ride a bike. You think the word "politics and government" are flower names, and you think you can buy a house with 100$. Finding the trap to the attic in your house changes your life and equals endless hours of "make pretend" with your friends. The saddest moments on T.V. is seing your favorite cartoon character getting pushed in a ravine.
But as you add candles to your birthday cake, you realize all the details about life that you never noticed, or never understood. You find out that the guy who lives next door and who seemed like the nicest guy, actually beats the shit out of his wife. You've got 3 uncles on your father's side who are drug addicts and your grandfather was an alcoholic. "Shit hits the fan" becomes more and more familiar in your vocabulary. Christmas time means to use-up your credit cards and try to find a freakin' parking space at the mall. You realize how much your parents were right about everything. You don't understand how your mom manages to cook, clean and do the laundry at the same time. 100$ doesn't even last a week in your wallet, and you try to figure out a way to budget everything you have to pay for. And when your day is almost over, you sit in front of the T.V., exhausted, and what do you watch? The news who shows you all the bad sides of this world, the murders, the wars, tax increase, less employees in the hospitals, people dying of a new virus blablabla.... And when you become an elderly person who is aching, almost deaf and blind, who can only move with a wheelchair, you look silently at this new generation who is taking over our planet, and the society who is getting worst every day. Kids don't play with wooden horses no more, they play cops and robbers with guns. So basically, life ain't gonna get better for no one so might as well appreciate those small things in life and look at them with the eyes you used to have when you were young; a christmas tree is not just a regular tree, it's a magical element of an amazingly happy moment. Carpe Diem posted by Cyril et Marie 5:32 pm
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
I love my friends!!! This morning my best buddy Daniel called me up all excited because Mister has found THE perfect girl and the best part is... she lives right next door to him! He's really crazy about her but doesn't even know her name or if she has a boyfriend... this is the part where I get involved in the situation. Because apparently I'm full of imagination and willing to do pretty much anything for Hagen Däaz, I now have gotten myself in a plan where I have to go knock on that girl's door, pretend to be someone from the government who is making an update of everyone living in the neighbourhood, ask her a bunch of questions like her name, her age, if she is living by herself etc etc.. Why am I such a freak?!?! posted by Cyril et Marie 7:16 pm
Friday, December 06, 2002
Last night I went with a couple of my girlfriends to this crappy little hunter's bar filled with hairy men full of testosterone and ready to attack. We were sitting at our table sipping our drinks and listening to the anoying song of Las Ketchup when this guy comes up to me and says:
HIM "hey what's up?" .
Now that is something I cannot stand. If you're a guy and we're in a bar, do NOT approach me. That's probably one of the only time you'll see my cruel side. and I won't give any warnings.
So I look him in the eyes and say
ME "what?"
HIM "how's it going Valerie?"
ME "Nice try buddy, my name ain't Valerie. And I'll make things easier for you, I have a boyfriend. Bye now."
So he blushes and all shy he answers
HIM "oh my god, I'm so sorry, I really thought... I.....never mind"
And then he leaves. So I'm sitting there thinking, oh shit, I think he really did thought I was someone else, he looked so embarassed poor guy, maybe I was a little bit to harsh on him... Then I start wondering if I should go appologize to him and my friends are all like "Damn Marie, I think you broke that guys heart, he looked so innocent and sweet!!" When all of a sudden, the bartender comes up to me with a beer and says "this is from Martin, he says he's sorry for the mix up and wants to make it up to you" I look around the bar to spot him, and when I finally do, I find him staring at me all horny and he winks at me...
Moral of this story: If a guy talks to you in a bar, it's not because he thinks you look friendly or because it's a coïncidence, it's because he wants to get laid. Never trust a guy with a beer in his hand.
Asshole posted by Cyril et Marie 5:00 pm
Wednesday, December 04, 2002
Stupid fucking avocado seeds!!! It's been 6 months now since I've been trying to grow an avocado tree with numberless techniques and all sorts of different kinds of avocado seeds and NOTHING!!!! How am I supposed to raise a child in this society if I can't even grow something out of a seed?!?! Damn. And plus, I eat so many avocados that I could've saved enough money to go on a trip with that tree! I even tried talking to it cause apparently it helps... oh shit, maybe it doesn't understand French?! Oh shit, of course... avocados come from central america. Oups! O.k. I don't think it has anything to do with it but hey, I have to try to find something to blame it on!! Forget it, I'll try something else... a peanut tree?! Oh, wait, peanuts actually grow IN the ground. Hum... posted by Cyril et Marie 8:25 pm
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired
their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we
could have paradise in a few years.
Just got back from lunch. I had a grilled cream cheese, seafood dip, mushroom, lemon and swiss cheese sandwich, squeezed all together. I'm DEFINITELY going to do the groceries tonight *burp* posted by Cyril et Marie 7:32 pm
TYLENOL. That was basically my breakfast this morning. Last night was my christmas party at the restaurant I work for (job #1) and I had almost forgotten the side effects of these 2 words: Open-Bar. Top that with incredibly orgasmic FREE food, a fellow co-worker impersonating Elvis in front of everyone, the Big Boss lighting up a joint and passing it around to everyone (28 people in total), and you've got yourself a pretty fucking crazy night!!! I was used to the really lame office parties (job #2) where everyone pretends to have fun and because you find nothing in common with each other, the main topic of the night is always work related. And the supervisor tries to be funny by telling the same stupid stories she always tells to everyone and you feel the obligation to laugh because she's the boss and she can be a bitch sometimes and you don't want that. But that wasn't what last night was all about and I'm pretty glad! But I think I went a little crazy on the red wine cause even after brushing my teeth 3 times, my mouth is still purple today. If people ask, I'll just say I drank grape Crush (sick). posted by Cyril et Marie 5:42 pm
Friday, November 29, 2002
If you are a guy and want to learn some various news ways to masturbate, check out this website:
http://jackinworld.com/
This week's suggestion is how to jerk off using the Mr.Spock technique (Never thought that Mr.Spock could have any sexual meanings to some people *shivers*)
And in the section "HANDLINES! Masturbation in the news", you can read this story of the week:
SCIENTIST BURNS PENIS WITH HOT LAPTOP
Reuters (November 22)
London, England: Laptops have always been a hot item but a 50-year-old scientist didn't realize to what extent until he burned his penis. The previously healthy father of two remembered feeling a burning sensation after he had been writing a report at home for about an hour with the computer on his lap.
Now if that would ever happen to me, the one thing I would NOT do is alert the medias and let them interviem me!! posted by Cyril et Marie 5:44 pm
"Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural & spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity" Albert Einstein
You're damn right Albert!!! posted by Cyril et Marie 5:25 pm
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
Your daily humor:
"Why are you tearing up your homework notebook and scattering the pieces
around the classroom?" a furious teacher asked one of her pupils.
:: Serendipity :: n : accidental sagacity; the faculty of making fortunate discoveries of things you were not looking for. posted by Cyril et Marie 8:33 pm
Thursday, November 21, 2002
Young people wearing white smocks walking everywhere with a fast pace and security cards tied around their necks, each door locked by an electronical device, volunteers escorted by the white people coming in and out of rooms each wearing a bracelet with numbers written on 'em, the constant, loud "BING!" of the elevator announcing the unknow, the smell of inhumanity, the feeling of itching starting to haunt my body , yes I HAVE to experiment all this. posted by Cyril et Marie 4:30 pm
Thursday, November 14, 2002
Are you a freaked-out citizen? Last night, because I was having a really stinky day, I decided to wear some perfume and to go to the movies BY MYSELF. So I went to see "Bowling for Columbine". Wow. The first thing you see on the screen are the credits so I was thinking "Man this is gonna be great!" and it's in fact the best documentary I've seen. It makes you laugh your head off, cry of compassion, cry of happiness, shake your head in horror, leaves you speachless, makes you wanna scream, hug the person who's sitting next to you, stop watching T.V. and once it's over, you wanna run to the nearest library and spend the whole night looking for statistics, facts, answers. Michael Moore is a pure genius. He turns America upside down in 120 minutes. "Bowling for Columbine" was the first documentary film accepted into competition at the Cannes Film Festival in 46 years. The Cannes jury unanimously awarded it the 55th Anniversary Prize and it's no surprise! At the end of the movie, everyone in the room stood up and applaused. Now THAT's a pure fucking "chef-d'oeuvre" right there. And as I left the theatre with my chin up in the air, I knew I was now equipped with a shit-proof uniform. posted by Cyril et Marie 4:06 pm
Wednesday, November 13, 2002
O.k. I've got it!!! Here's something happy that's happening to me, I found out this week that I've got a ladybug as a house pet! Hum... being the lucky girl that I am, it's probably a pregnant one who's gonna infest my house with hundreds of babies soon... *sigh* posted by Cyril et Marie 7:08 pm
ARGH!!!!! I have to go buy a plant tonight because I can smell my winter depression who's already trying to strangle me. OR it's one of those "tests" that life is making me pass... Throwing the most shit at me just to see how much I can handle. And of course, all of this is happening while I'm on my stupid diet and that I can't comfort myself with Cookie Dough ice cream!!! grrrr.... posted by Cyril et Marie 4:56 pm
Why is it that the people you love the most are the ones who can hurt you the most? All that loving should be able to control all that sadness generated by situations you'd like to burry somewhere in China but no, it just hurts like a bitch. And somehow you ask yourself how it's possible to switch from the greatest feeling, to the most heart-crushing one. Then you say to yourself, here's something I won't let happen to me ever again! But... it WILL happen again and it Will probably hurt even more the next time! That's the balance of life. If you have really big joys, then you'll have really big disapointments *sigh* I miss my cat. posted by Cyril et Marie 3:21 pm
Tuesday, November 12, 2002
I was looking for a website with the words "Carpe Diem" when I found something I wasn't expecting to find. There's this website about premature ejaculation and impotence treatment who's maxim is Carpe Diem... pretty self-explanatory!! posted by Cyril et Marie 7:38 pm
Monday, November 11, 2002
Why are white sox such a big fucking deal?!?! Yesterday the girls in my department were having this huge discussion on how white sox should be banned forever and should'nt even had been invented in the first place (along with purses without mirrors). One of them even said "If I'd be to meet the man of my dreams and then see that he's wearing white sox, I'd walk right out of there and he would'nt hear from me ever again!!!" WHO CARES??? People are dying every day in this cruel world and all they think about is what kind of sox a man is wearing?! Now I understand why they stopped asking for my opinion the day I told them that volunteering was more important than trying to find a matching purse for your shoes. I mean o.k. sure I won't wear white sox with a skirt but if someone wants to do it, hey, go for it!! The one thing I enjoy at my work place theses days, is that now that I know I'm leaving soon, I don't care if that stuck-up "Directeur général" walks besides me with a big smile on his face while I'm listening to "The Stokes" on my CD player and talking to my fish and that I don't ever bother saying "Good morning" to him. As a matter of fact, I'm starting to think of a plan for my last day at work... something really juicy that people would notice for sure, but wouldn't know who did it... Stick a fish in the ceiling maybe? Or pour Vodka in the coffee machine?.... o.k. this one I bet nobody would notice since it's a common thing here at the office. Hum... the "D-G's" BMW would look nice with a picture of a naked guy on his license plate, with him driving it and not knowing about it.... O.k. I have to gather my devilish thoughts and one of my good friends who's mind is just as twisted as mine. To be continued.... posted by Cyril et Marie 9:41 pm
Leo and I ate some unsalted-non-buttery-popcorn together last Friday. We didn't exchange any sentences, we just stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds and then he looked away, with a weird frightening look on his face and then he said without any expression, "thanks". He seems like a very lost man trying not to reach out, but realizing that it's his only choice now (even though he'll never admit it). I just hope he'll accept it before he blows up the place, and himself at the same time. O.k. next time it'll be Häagen Daz. posted by Cyril et Marie 3:15 pm
Friday, November 08, 2002
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots posted by Cyril et Marie 7:13 pm
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots posted by Cyril et Marie 5:44 pm
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots posted by Cyril et Marie 5:43 pm
All bran tastes like burnt shredded carrots posted by Cyril et Marie 3:14 pm
Thursday, November 07, 2002
My boyfriend and I decided to go on a diet, not because we're overweighted, but because the words fruits and vegetables were missing from our vocabulary. So now we munch on tomato salads, vanilla ice cream (instead of triple fudge orgasmic delite), and zuchinis. But just to remind me how great life is, every morning with my bowl of tasteless nutritious cereal I eat a couple of slices of pepperoni sticks. It also gives me an excuse to stop hidding chunks of tofu in practically every meal I cook for him, and now say "Hey, tofu is really healthy, I could try and cook you something with it, but in very small pieces." He agrees annd of course, I disctreetly stuff the whole thing with it. But it really is easier when there's someone living with you who is on the same diet. Cause it would be a real torture if I'd be seating at the table, eating my grass-crispie's squares while your mate is stuffing his belly with nachos topped with black olives, jalapenos, extra extra cheese, sour cream, guacamole and salsa. And then you're thinking:" ... well maybe if I replace the cheese with tofu and the sour cream with fat free soya milk... Nah!!" It just can't happen.
Right now I'm doing fine and enjoying it. Hope it lasts!! posted by Cyril et Marie 7:36 pm
Tuesday, October 29, 2002
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up
where I intended to be.
This is one of the sickest serial killer story I've ever read.... a nipple belt?!?!?! What wouldn't you do for fashion these days!
Born at the turn of the century on August 27,1906 in the city of La Crosse, Wisconsin to George And Augusta Gein.The Geins ran a small grocery store in La Crosse until 1914 when Augusta the head of the household decided to move the family into the small farming community of Plainfield, Wisconsin, Gein lived a repressive and solitary life on his family homestead with a weak, ineffectual brother and domineering mother who taught him from an early age that sex was a sinful thing. Eddie ran the family's 160-acre farm on the outskirts of Plainfield until his brother Henry died in 1944 and his mother in 1945. When she died her son was a thirty-nine-year-old bachelor, still emotionally enslaved to the woman who had tyrannized his life. The rest of the house, however, soon degenerated into a madman's shambles. Thanks to federal subsidies, Gein no longer needed to farm his land, and he abandoned it to do odd jobs here and there for the Plainfield residents, to earn him a little extra cash. But he remained alone in the enormous farmhouse, haunted by the ghost of his overbearing mother, whose bedroom he kept locked and undisturbed, exactly as it had been when she was alive. He also sealed off the drawing room and five more upstairs rooms, living only in one downstairs room and the kitchen."Weird old Eddie", as the local community had come to know him, had begun to develop a psychotic interest in the intimate anatomy of the female body - and interest that was fed by medical encyclopedias, books on anatomy, pulp horror novels and pornographic magazines. He became particularly interested in the atrocities committed by the Nazis during the Second World War and the medical experiments performed on Jews in the concentration camps. Soon he graduated on to the real thing by digging up decaying female corpses by night in the local Wisconsin cemeteries. These he would dissect and keep some parts heads, sex organs, livers, hearts and intestines. Then he would flay the skin from the body, wearing it himself to dance and cavort around the homestead - a practice that apparently gave him intense gratification. On other occasions, Gein took only the body parts that particularly interested him. He was especially fascinated by the excised female genitalia, which he would fondle and play with, sometimes stuffing them into a pair of women's panties, which he would then wear around the house. Obviously, he quickly became a recluse in the community, discouraging any visitors from coming near his by now neglected and decaying farm. Gein's fascination with the female body eventually led him to seek out fresher samples. His victims, usually women of his mother's age, included 54-year old Mary Hogan, who disappeared from the tavern she ran in December 1954, and Bernice Worden, a woman in her late fifties who ran the local hardware store, who disappeared on the 16th November 1957. Mrs. Worden's son Frank was also the sheriff's deputy, and upon learning that weird old Eddie Gein had been spotted in town on the day of his mother's disappearance, Frank Worden and the sheriff went to check out the old Gein place, already infamous amongst the local children as a haunted house.There, the gruesome evidence proved that Gein's bizarre obsessions had finally exploded into murder, and much, much worse. In the summer kitchen of the house was the naked, headless body of Bernice Worden, hanging upside down from a meat hook and slit open down the front. Her head and intestines were discovered in a box, and her heart in a plastic bag in the dining room. The skins from ten human heads were found preserved, and another skin taken from the upper torso of a woman was rolled up on the floor. There was a belt fashioned from carved-off nipples, a chair upholstered in human skin, the crown of a skull used as a soup-bowl, lampshades covered in flesh pilled taut, a table propped up by a human shinbones, and The four posts on Gein's bed were topped with skulls and a human head hung on the wall alongside nine death-masks - the skinned faces of women - and decorative bracelets made out of human skin. The stunned searchers also uncovered a soup bowls fashioned from skulls, a shoe box full of female genitalia, faces stuffed with newspapers and mounted like hunting trophies on the walls, and a "mammary vest" flayed from the torso of a woman. Gein later confessed that he enjoyed dressing himself in this and other human-skin garments and pretending he was his own mother.
The scattered remains of an estimated fifteen bodies were found at the farmhouse when Gein was eventually arrested, but he could not remember how many murders he had actually committed. The discovery of these Gothic horrors sent shock waves throughout Eisenhower-era America. In Wisconsin itself, Gein quickly entered local folklore. Within weeks of his arrest, macabre Jokes called "Geiners" became a statewide craze. The country as a whole learned about Gein in December 1957, when both Life and Time magazines ran features on his "house of horrors." After ten years in a mental hospital, Gein was judged competent to stand trial. Although considered fit to stand trial, Eddie was found guilty, but criminally insane. He was first committed to the Central State Hospital at Waupon, and then in 1978 he was moved to the Mendota Mental Health Institute where he died in the geriatric ward in 1984, aged seventy-seven. It is said he was always a model prisoner - gentle, polite and discreet. He died of respiratory and heart failure in 1984
Leo just arrived, all bubbly as usual, and is wearing the same brown pants. I wonder if he likes caffeine? Maybe I could buy him a coffee just to see his reaction... and maybe add a bit of kahlùa in it to see if he thinks I put some kind of crazy mix in it because I found out who he really is and now I'm trying to kill him... O.k. maybe not cause he might try to hit me with his super large beige laptop for revange and that would be way too embarassing for me to try and explain afterwards to people the cause of the bump on my head...
Halloween is really not far away and I still haven't found a costume yet. And I don't want to dress up as something typical like a pumpkin or a witch so I was thinking of being a jar of marmelade... and then I remembered I hate marmelade. Maybe a mosquito? *sigh* I just know I'm gonna try and find the BEST costume all week long, and then on Halloween day I'm gonna realize I haven't found one yet so I'm gonna use up all the toilet paper at my house and dress up as a mummy. (and probably set my costume on fire when someone in the bar is gonna throw his cigarette at me). Hey a monkey is cute... and yesterday at my bartending class I learned how to make horny monkey shooters so I could drink that at the party...
My fish almost died yesterday. He had crazy gas, and when he tried to swim at the bottom of his bowl, he kept on floating back on top of the water. Today he's o.k. so he probably let out a major burp and that is the reason why there is now a bunch of bubbles at the surface of the water. Well, I hope those are burp bubbles... right? posted by Cyril et Marie 4:19 pm
Thursday, October 17, 2002
I now have a new reason to get up in the morning. There's this guy who's been coming at my work place every 2 days or so and who is really intriguing. He comes in through the main door, says "hi" to pretty much every person he meets in the hall, and sits 2 desks away from me (there's a free desk there). He carries an old-old-school beige laptop (I suspect it to be a prototype of the very first laptop to be ever sold on the market), plugs it into one of our computers and transfers info back and forth from his laptop to our computer etc. The thing is, he acts as if he knows everyone in the office (everytime he sees me he looks at me with a big smile and says "Oh hi, how are you!") but I've asked pretty much every employee and nobody knows who he is... And he fits in our crowd perfectly, like he's one of us when actually.... he's not! So I'm guessing he's either a very very friendly data guy in charge of fixing our system or updating something.... OR he's a real smart-ass who figured that if he'd go into a random office, act like he knows everyone and sits down all natural at one of our desks, he could get away with hacking-up our system without anyone noticing anything. Wish I would've thought of that. So from now on, I'll call him Leo. posted by Cyril et Marie 9:19 pm
Tuesday, October 15, 2002
If you think your life is pathetic, go to this following link and afterwards, you'll feel like your life is a tremendously big sundae smothered with hot fudge and cookie dough
http://www.theonion.com/onion3837/man_looks_forward.html posted by Cyril et Marie 3:42 pm
Friday, October 11, 2002
There's this lady that sits at the desk in front of me at work who looks like a melted Barbie doll. Today she's wearing a black leather skirt and everytime she moves her ass on her chair, it makes this weird sound and I always think it's my cell phone vibrating in my purse, and every time I grab my phone to answer it. I think it's time for another "café-Kahlùa". posted by Cyril et Marie 8:05 pm
A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.
God I can't believe how clueless I am when it comes to love. I really suck at it. I just don't understand the fact that you're supposed to love ONE person for the rest of your life and dedicate the biggest part of your emotions to him/her (depends how I feel). Maybe I'm just weird or....... o.k. I'm just weird. But I much rather have a few very close people that I can fully trust, laugh, cry and eat Tutto Gelatto with, because that way, I can enjoy different types of personalities. Being with the same person all the time is just way to redundant, and after a while, you can guess exactly what kind of ice cream he's gonna pick at the grocery store... that's just WAY too wrong! My hairdresser tells me it's only because I haven't found my soulmate yet... but I can't really take his advices because he's a gay 42 year old guy with a 5 year old kid, a 21 year old girlfriend and he swears he's gonna open up a salon on a space platform before he dies, because when people are gonna start moving to the moon, they're gonna need someone to cut their hair, especially with all that gravity. I just like rubbing his belly for good luck. And plus, that's my biggest fear; finding my "soulmate", my "monopolizer". The person who knows everything about me, who knows exactly when I'm sad, angry, or when I need my dose of starfruit. The other day, I was having a tea at some patchoulie smelling pub, and I was sitting near a girl who was about to say something to her boyfriend when he suddenly stopped her and said "Wait, I know exactly what you're gonna say..." And he guessed right. That just gives me goosebumps and makes me wanna shave my head. It's o.k. for me to be around my friends who are in a relationship, I mean I won't try to convice them that soon she's gonna wake up one night, go for a piss and sit on a cold porcelain rim because her "honey bunny" forgot to lower the toilet seat, but it's just not for me. For a while there I thought I was a homosexuel trapped in a lesbian body (still not clear on that one), but after a few vodkas, I came up with the conclusion that I just love life in general. posted by Cyril et Marie 5:38 pm
Wednesday, October 09, 2002
Best newspaper headlines of years past.
1. Include Your Children When Baking Cookies
2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
4. Drunks Get Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
6. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
7. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
8. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
9. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
10. Clinton Wins Budget; More Lies Ahead
11. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
12. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
13. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
14. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
15. Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
16. War Dims Hope for Peace
17. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
18. Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
19. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Have you ever hidden yourself in a box when you were young, and rolled around in it, not really knowing where you were going, what you were about to hit, or worse, what was about to hit you (I'd drive over a box of cartboard with my car if I didn't know someone was in it)? Well that's exactly how my job feels like. At the beginning, it seems really fun and daring so you jump into it. But once you're trapped between those walls, you realize that you feel as if you are moving ahead, but you can't actually see that with your own eyes so the only thing left to do is hope that all that effort that you're putting in to push that box in a certain direction will take you to a very nice place. But fuck that bullshit!!! This week, I've decided to rip open my box (and maybe burn it later... oh no wait, I'll recycle it to save a monkey) and walk with my own two feet. I meet way too many people who tell me the same homily about how we only have one life to live and blablabla but you know what? It sounds cliché (I hate that word) but it actually is true. If Jean Chrétien can be the prime minister of Canada, than I can be the one who types the credits at the end of porn movies. I swear this guy is the head Alien sent from a freaky planet to analyse what the "border line of too much stupidity in order for a politician to get elected" is. And just as I thought he had already crossed that line, he says to Bill Clinton at a "sommet de l'aléna" when asked about his opinion on the fact that more and more drugs are coming in to Canada from the States:
-Jean Chrétien; "Trucks? It's good! Let them come across the border! We will
take all we can get"
-Bill Clinton; "HEY! We talk about DRUGS!"
Wow, o.k. this is pretty interesting... Now you're able to jump into my wacky bubble and flot away along with my thoughts... I was thinking of writing something big today since it's my first time here (god this sounds so pathetic!), but then again, I guess this sums it all:
The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right
place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
Living in a vaccum sucks 
Wednesday, December 18, 2002